COOKIES!
by Autumn Skys
Summary: A random moment in Sailor Moon where nothing make sense, everyone's yelling, everything's chaotic, and everyone won't stop swearing! Rated T for INTENSE swearing and sexual references. o o


Okay, BEFORE you read this--this story isn't going to make sense. At all. I dunno where it even CAME from. My friend Mina told me to post it, so here it is. Randomly. It's a random chaotic moment in the world of Sailor Moon. Kind of.

* * *

"ASS!"

"BITCH!"

"MANWHORE!"

"WOMAN WHORE!"

"MAN…GUNK!"

"WO—wait, what?"

"Shut up, Motoki!"

"_You _shut up, Minako!"

"Both of you shut up!"

"Rei, you're such a bitch."

"I AM NOT. IT'S NOT _MY _FAULT YOU GUYS ARE A BUNCH OF CHILDISH LOSERS."

"Rei, being a childish loser is fun, you should—"

"Yuuichirou, not ONE MORE WORD."

"Fine, fine."

"Guys, you're disrupting my meditating."

"What? Usagi, you don't meditate."

"I do so, Mako! That's like _me _telling _you_ that you don't cook. Speaking of, d'you have any cookies?"

"Usagi, you're such a pig."

"Yeah, Usagi!"

"Guys, shouldn't you be studying for midterms?"

"God, Ami, _lighten up_. There's _guys _here."

"Yeah, Ames. We have later to study."

"Way to turn pink, Ami."

"Shut the fuck _up_, Rei!"

"Holy shit!"

"Ami just fucking _swore_!"

"That didn't sound right coming from her mouth."

"MY VIRGIN EARS!"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP, MINAKO!"

"You guys need to relax. Ami wouldn't like my ex-boyfriend. He swore all the time."

"Mako, for the _last _time, no one cares about your ex-boyfriends."

"They all sound the same, anyway, Mako."

"You guys are totally trying to ruin my life."

"DAMN YOU ALL! NOW I CAN'T MEDITATE, I WANT _COOKIES_!"

"God dammit, Serena, you're such a pig."

"You've told me. Sorry if you starve yourself, you freaky vegetarian."

"I do NOT starve myself, for your information."

"Yeah. Tell that to the toilet."

"Why the hell would I tell a toilet?"

"You barf in it."

"I so do NOT. That's GROSS."

"It's hurts a lot."

"What the hell, Minako?"

"Guys, I really should be getting back to work…"

"No, Motoki."

"What the—ouch, Minako!"

"Makoto, can you please make some cookies?"

"Patience is a virtue, Usagi."

"Well then I have no virtues, dammit!"

"Usagi, you're such a whore."

"WELL AT LEAST I'M NOT A BITCH, REI!"

"Yes you are."

"What? I AM NOT!"

"Bitch."

"REI! YOU'RE SO MEAN! MAMO'S GONNA BEAT YOU UP!"

"Oh, right. Be a damsel in distress, Usagi. You weakling."

"I AM NOT—"

"Oh, for crying out loud, shut _up_, Usagi."

"Ha!"

"WHAT? MINA? NO! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE ON _MY _SIDE!"

"She switched."

"Minako, I really have to go back to the Arcade now…"

"Shut UP, Motoki, can't you see I'm _busy_?!"

"You _guys_!"

"Ami, loosen up."

"I am loose!"

"Are not."

"Are too!"

"Are not!"

"TOO!"

"NOT!"

"TOO!"

"Holy shit, Ami's arguing with Minako like they're five-year-olds."

"Wow, Ami, that's pathetic. I mean, we're used to Minako…"

"Shut _up, _Rei, Makoto!"

"Don't tell _me _to shut up, I'm making you dinner!"

"Shut up!"

"Oh my _God_, Ami's getting racy."

"Quickly, while we can! AMI, I DARE YOU TO GIVE US A STRIP DANCE!"

"What the hell, Minako? Where'd that come from?"

"C'mon, Motoki, you must love strip dances."

"I bet Rei gives really hot strip dances."

"YUUICHIROU, NO ONE WAS SUPPOSED TO KNOW ABOUT THAT!"

"WHAT?!?!"

"I didn't SAY anything, Rei!"

"DAMMIT!"

"Oh my GOD, Rei gave Yuuichirou a strip dance?!"

"IT'S THE APOCALYPSE!"

"SHUT UP!!! SHUT UP!!!"

"I BET REI GAVE A BAD STRIP DANCE! SHE'S A BITCH!"

"Nah, it was really sexy."

"YUUICHIROU! SHUT UP!"

"Sorry."

"I bet _I _can give a better strip dance then Rei can!"

"Minako, you're such a ho."

"Makoto, you're such a…not ho!"

"Thank you?"

"YEAH! I'M A SEXY HO!"

"Not _you_, Usagi, _Minako_!"

"I know."

"What?"

"I'm confused."

"I really have to go to work…"

"Shut UP, Motoki!"

"Really, Minako, I won't be able to give you free shakes anymore if you don't let me get to my job…"

"HAHA! MINAKO GETS FREE SHAKES!"

"Usagi, you're SO immature."

"Minako, you're a hypocrite."

"HEY, REI!"

"See, I told you Rei's a bitch!"

"Usagi, you're a dipshit."

"I RESENT THAT, REI!"

"Whatever."

"Minako, _really_, I've gotta leave…"

"MOTOKI, IF ONE MORE WORD ABOUT WORK COMES OUT OF YOUR BLOODY MOUTH I AM GOING TO WHOP YOUR ASS TO EUTHANASIA."

"Euthanasia's not a _place_, you dimwit."

"Also called mercy killing, euthanasia is the act of putting to death painlessly, or allowing to die, as by withholding extreme medical measures."

"Fuck you, Ami, that was so memorized from the dictionary."

"Don't fuck Ami, Minako."

"What?! Makoto, are you JEALOUS?!"

"NO! …I was just watching out for Ami!"

"That's so SCARY!"

"Usagi, you're such a Blondie."

"I'M A BLONDIE!"

"Minako, you're just a weirdo."

"…That too."

"What's Rei?"

"Yuuichirou!"

"Rei's a psychopathic bitch."

"Usagi, you're a fucking imbecile."

"…"

"Wow Rei, that was cold."

"That was extremely bitchy."

"Minako, way to be blunt."

"Teehee."

"OH MY GOD! YOU CALLED ME AN IMBECILE! …Er, and what _exactly _does it mean?"

"Oh, for crying out loud, Usagi. Even _I _know that one."

"I hate you, Minako."

"Whatever, I have other friends than you, Usa."

"Pssh, yeah right, Minako. Who?"

"Like YOU, REI! I LOVE YOU!!!!!"

"Jeez, Minako, calm down. You freako."

"Haha! Rei called me a freako!"

"I don't get it. How's that funny?"

"Makoto, aren't you supposed to be COOKING?"

"Yeah, Minako, and your boyfriend's supposed to be at WORK but WHO'S NOT THERE!"

"Makoto, don't bring me into this! I'm being held captive."

"Damn you, Motoki, I'm trying to save your ass!"

"DON'T YOU STEAL MY BOYFRIEND YOU TWO-FACED BITCH!"

"What the…"

"Well, _I _don't want him."

"Uh, thanks, Rei. Real ego-booster."

"Whatever."

"Hey, she's mine anyway."

"I am NOT yours, Yuuichirou, you pig-head."

"Yeah? Then how come you gave me a strip dance!"

"WOULD YOU STOP BRINGING THAT UP?!"

"…Strip dance."

"STOP IT!"

"STRIP DANCE!"

"STOP IT!"

"REI'S A BITCHY HO!"

"Fuck you, Usagi, you're so random!"

"Its okay, Rei, bitchy ho's give sexy strip dances."

"Yuuichirou, when we get home…I'm going to murder you."

"That's okay. I'm sure you'll be sexy when you do it."

"That's gross!"

"Oh _please_, Usagi. You and Mamoru are sickeningly disgusting…"

"We ARE NOT! Mamoru's sweet, and kind, a muscular, and hot, and _perfect_…"

"Oh, right. No, you're describing Motoki."

"Yes, Motoki. Speaking of he, I really need to go to work."

"FINE, Motoki! Leave me in my hour of need!"

"Your hour of…? C'mon, Minako, don't _do _this! You do this every time I leave!"

"It's not MY fault you leave all the time! ARE YOU CHEATING ON ME?"

"NO, for the THOUSANDTH TIME!"

"YOU ACT LIKE IT!"

"_YOU_ ACT LIKE IT!"

"…What? I do not!"

"Oh, I didn't…whatever, I really need to go."

"FINE! BE AN ASS!"

"I am NOT an ass!"

"MANWHORE!"

"BITCH!"

"What the fuck…déjà vu."

"Rei, you need to stop with the sailor mouth."

"Nah. I'm teaching Ami to get one."

"I do not _need _one!"

"I agree with the bitch, you need one, Ami."

"Oh, this is so ridiculous."

"THE COOKIES ARE READY!"

"FUCK YEAH! COOKIES!"

"God, who would've thought Usagi would ever swear for _cookies_…actually, that's not so surprising. The piglet."

"Shut _up_, Rei, I can HEAR you! Mako, these cookies are DELICIOUS!"

"Thanks, Usagi."

"God, you're already eating one? Yuuichirou, you too? When did you—"

"Eat the cookie, Rei."

"OH MY GOD, I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU JUST STUFFED A COOKIE IN MY MOUTH, YOU ARE SO GOING TO PAY, BOY—"

"Oh, please, Rei. The cookies are marvelous."

"Ami, you hardly help."

"I know."

"I'll be going now."

"Bye, Motoki!"

"Bye!"

"Jeez, Minako's the only one who gets kissed goodbye."

"NUH-UH! MAMORU GIVES ME GOODBYE KISSES."

"…Mamoru's not here, idiot."

"So!"

"Motoki's kiss totally beat these cookies, by the way."

"Oh, fuck you, Minako."

"You wish!"

* * *

Fin. ^_^ wow…that was really random o.O


End file.
